A Lonely Christmas

Christmas is a time to spend with the people you love right? Well, I'll be with most of those people I guess, but not with John....my love. Sad really. He left for home just an hour ago, and now I should be greatful for the time I have to study for my aweful anatomy final, yet all I can do is think about missing John for the next 2 weeks. Even a day or two is hard enough. It's weird to think that we went a month with out seeing eachother over the summer, but that was rediculously hard, two weeks is my limit. After that, phone calls just aren't good enough. I start forgetting the way I feel, and why I love him, and I start losing it all together, that is when you move on. Luckely that difficult month past and the moment I saw him, all the love feelings floaded right back in. But that was early in the relationship. Its been over 8 months now. Two weeks is like 2 months. Feels so long.
I'm trying to think of what I did in my spare time that I would now spend with John.

1. I spent a lot of time at the gym. (besides work, class, and the library)
2. I spent extra time socializing with a million different friends, going country and salsa dancing, trying to meet as many people as possible.
3. Going out to lunch, dinner, and movies with friends
4. taking road trips with my girl friends
5. Just living the single life I guess.

Some people can't break away from that cycle. Or some people miss it and end up breaking relationships to go back to the single life.

Me? I'm moving on. I didn't think I'd ever get sick of dating around and exploring all the options or going to parties; but when John and I recently went to a friends "christmas party".. it was nice, but just another college singles party where everybody dresses up in their most fashionabley/hot clothing, eating treats and non-alcoholic drinks (thats BYU). They all just look at everyone else. The girls or guys may scope out thier competition and leave if they don't find enough of the opposite sex. They'll critique eachothers clothing and hair and, try to come up with interesting and witty things to say to one another. They'll talk about what they are studying, or ask where they are from and chat about finals, or how much money they'll make some day, or how much money they made over the summer selling security systems. Some may be truely intested in others and try to get their friends to introduce eachother, maybe get a number or two, plan to do something that they found they both enjoyed, go out, but found that the roommate was way cooler.

Its all fun for a while, but its actually quite exhausting, and in my case its a relief when you find someone you are very compatable with, and someone you would rather spend your free time with.

It'll be a lonely Christmas indeed.